When I’m home, nobody will talk to me. It’s like I am dead. I don’t like quiet because then I have nothing. So I ride the train into the city. Compared to home, the city is like heaven. Muhammad Ali Butterfly Bee Boxing Poster. There are a million people you can ask for help. There are people to help you up the stairs. And there are so many smells. I love the smell of food. Right now I’m trying to memorize my way to Carnegie Hall. I like to go to theaters and museums where my mind can be nourished. Sometimes I can hear tourists talking about the exhibits. Sometimes I hear college students talking to each other and it makes me feel younger. It makes me feel like I’m still alive in this world. We’ve been married for almost twenty years. We have two children. But he suffers from depression and self-medicates with alcohol. He’ll quit drinking for stretches at a time, but he keeps falling back into it.
Muhammad Ali Butterfly Bee Boxing Poster
So I have to support our family on a single income. And I’m just so tired of keeping him uplifted all the time. I don’t feel emotionally supported. There’s no physical intimacy. Muhammad Ali Butterfly Bee Boxing Poster. But I can’t bring myself to leave. He’s a great dad when he’s sober. And I know that our family might be the only thing holding him together. But I can’t help but wonder: ‘Am I missing out on an amazing relationship?’ Especially when I feel tempted at a work party. I just miss that feeling of connection. But my husband hasn’t crossed any red lines. He hasn’t hit me. He hasn’t cheated. If I found out he cheated, it would be so easy. And it’s gotten to the point where I almost hope he would. Five years ago I had a bout with breast cancer. I didn’t catch it very early. I had to get chemo, radiation, and a mastectomy.