We met in the sixth grade. She was such a positive person—the opposite of me. When you’ve gone your whole life without hearing ‘good job’ or ‘I’m proud of you,’ it sort of leaves an empty space in your mind. Soldier pain is your friend pain is your ally poster. And you fill in the blanks with your own guesses about what people think of you. For me it was always something negative. But Makenzie was the opposite. I called her my bush baby because she had these bright eyes and would always be smiling. And I still see her that way. She’s a little more drained now that we have kids, but she’s always been a constant source of positivity. Even as my depression got worse and worse. People say: ‘It’s so selfish what you did.
Soldier pain is your friend pain is your ally poster
You have this great family. Why wouldn’t you want to be a part of it?’ But that’s the thing. I never felt like I deserved to be a part of it. And it got to the point where I thought everyone’s life would be better if I removed myself from the equation. Soldier pain is your friend pain is your ally poster. Makenzie freaked out when I came home from the hospital. There was a lot of crying and hugging. A few months later, when the dust had settled, we were sitting at the kitchen table. And I asked her: ‘Were you upset with me that day?’ She looked at me with tears in her eyes. And she said: ‘I need you.’ She told me that without me she wouldn’t have her best friend.
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